I disappeared for 10 days without screens

I went silent for 10 days - no phone, no laptop, no watch. Nothing.

And today I want to share with you my raw journal entries from those 10 days. I didn’t edit my thoughts. I just put them in order so you can follow along.

Spoiler:

I didn’t expect it to be that deep, but going offline for 10 days is probably one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

Here we go:

Without my phone, I was active - walking, climbing, playing sports, and moving around. I was moving my body more.

There was more silence. More peace. More presence. More joy. More time with myself. More boredom. More doing nothing.

Usually, when I wake up, I feel an immediate panic: "I have to do this today." That was gone. I felt present in the morning. Almost peaceful.

I think that’s the first time I understood what “real intuition” means. Eat? Journal? Read? Walk? Do nothing? It all came naturally. Intuitive. I cooked when I was hungry. I slept when I was tired. I listened to my body. No clock. No notifications. Just me.

For the first time in my life, I was okay with doing nothing. There were times when I was just staring into the woods, doing nothing… and I had a good time. I had a good time doing nothing. I didn’t even know that was possible.

Usually, I always need to do something. I need some kind of stimulation - a podcast here, a YouTube video there. I never allow myself to just do nothing.

It showed me:

I don’t always have to do something.

I realized you have sooooo much time. The days are full. No rush. You have time for everything when you’re not distracted by your phone. It’s incredible.

I was observing my mind a lot.

I saw how judgy my mind is. How uncomfortable it is in the present. It always wants stimulation. How anxious it gets. How paranoid it is.

And the thing with silence is - your mind gets loud (that’s why we spend our whole life avoiding it).

I was just sitting outside my little hut. Looking into the woods. Birds chirping. Water flowing. Beautiful silence. And I thought: “Everything around me is in silence, except me.”

And I also realized:

I rush everything. Eating, showering, going to the toilet, walking… I rush the “boring stuff” just so I can get back to “work.”

But without my phone, these became my main activities. And I loved it. When I was washing the dishes, I was just washing the dishes. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don’t wanna rush those activities anymore. They are holy - I want to use them to connect to life.

During those 10 days, I got bored a lot. And it taught me:

I’m addicted to distracting myself from myself.

TikTok, Instagram, YouTube - they are made to distract you from your own thoughts. That’s why they are so addictive.

And distracting yourself from yourself is rejecting yourself. And that’s the worst rejection there is.

Most mental health issues would be gone if you:

• Delete social media.

• Spend most of your day outside.

• Move your body every day.

That’s what I did. Coupled with being present, my anxiety, paranoia, and neurosis slowly quieted down.

One day, I was walking around my hometown. Busy streets, people everywhere… but I felt silence inside. I became more silent. More present. More aware of what’s going on around me.

Way less anxiety. Way less paranoia. Way less pressure. I started seeing stillness in daily life.

By the end, I loved being disconnected. And that scared me. How am I gonna come back to “normal”? I knew I needed a plan.

So here’s how I want to live from now on:

• Work in the morning till afternoon.

• Leave my phone behind after work.

• Take a book and my journal with me instead.

• Only bring my dumb Nokia phone for calls.

• No phone in the bedroom.

It was sad to see how disconnected I was from myself.

In this chapter of life, I want to reconnect. I want to be present.

Phones keep us trapped. Anxious. Depressed. Paranoid. It’s a disease. I never saw it more clearly.

Use it for its benefits, but also learn to go without it. It’s a heavy drug. And nobody taught us how to use it.

I got social media when I was 14. Would you give cigarettes to a 14-year-old? (and I believe social media is worse than cigarettes.)

I want to stop distracting myself from myself. I saw my addictions clearly:

Addiction to YouTube. Addiction to checking messages. Addiction to work emails. Addiction to “How are my threads performing?”. Always looking out for exciting notifications.

Huge trap.

This is what I experienced: 10 days no phone, no screen, no laptop, no watch. Traveling. Woods. Cabin. City. People. Nature. Sun. Silence.

Now I’m back, recharged, ready to work, write, serve. I’ll say it again… probably the best thing I’ve done in my life.

So everybody should ask themselves: “How can I incorporate more silence in my life?”

With love, peace & silence,

Heythem